The secrets we keep
by Raulsche
Summary: Being in a loveless relationship, the return of an old flame makes Rory question who she's become. But not everything is as it seems, and the screts they keep, could prevent them for being happy again.
1. Chapter 1

So here is a new story. I know, I know I'm already behind with my other story, but this one was bugging me for some time now and I just couldn't get it out of my mind. It's a **AU** story and starts after Logan and Rory met in the Yale Daily news (episode 5x06), with the difference that it was there first meeting. (Nothing from 5x03 happened). There are also some changes in the past but you will figure them out with more chapters eventually.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, if I did Rory and Logan would be happily married by now.

Thanks to my beta Slovesemmett!

* * *

"Are you sick?" Paris asked her roommate Rory who was sitting on their couch.

"No," she answered hesitantly without looking at her friend.

"You've been sitting there for," she paused and checked her watch, "10 minutes with a cup of coffee in your hand."

"I'm thinking!"

"With a full cup of coffee!"

Rory rolled her eyes but choose to ignore Paris.

"Seriously, is everything okay with you?" Paris sat down next to her, looking at Rory. "I mean, you've been acting weird for a few days first I tried to blame this on Dean, because honestly that relationship is so not healthy. But slowly I'm getting the impression that there is more to this."

"I just have a lot to think about right now Paris." Rory replied, with annoyed undertone in her voice that Paris did not seem to notice.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

Rory sighed, Paris clearly was worried took a deep breath and finally looked at her friend. "I know Paris," she tried to smile, "and I really appreciate it... it's just hard to talk about right now and I need to understand everything myself first, before I can explain it to you. Can you understand that?"

"You're not in trouble, are you?"

"No." She shook her head.

"Good," Paris nodded, satisfied with Rory's answer. It wasn't much, but she guessed that was everything she would get out of her for now, and as long as she wasn't in any serious trouble she was okay with giving her friend the time she needed. Which of course didn't mean that she wasn't worried.

Paris left a couple of minutes later, after she got tired of staring at Rory without getting any other reply. She told Rory that she would pay the Yale Daily News a visit, but she had a feeling that Rory hadn't really listened to her. She really hoped that her friend would figure everything out, so she would finally know what was going on with her.

Having lost track of time, Rory walked into her room half an hour later wondering where her roommate had disappeared to. She laid down her bed, closing her eyes.

She hated how he still was able to be the center of her life after all these 't he just leave her alone?

Was that really too much to ask for?

She had finally gotten over him; she was in a great relationship with Dean Forrester, a guy she had known since he had moved to her hometown 4 years ago. She had always known that he had a thing for her, but she had been blind to it. He had always been just a good friend to her, whom she could talk to whenever she felt she needed too. And she had needed him after everything that happened, Dean had been her savior, the shoulder she could lean on and somehow her feelings for him had changed.

Last summer they had started to date and Rory felt better than she had in years. Their relationship was far from perfect, she knew that, everyone knew that, but he made her feel safe and the way he talked to her showed her that he wouldn't disappear the next moment.

When Dean told her that he loved her just 2 months after they had gotten together, she had smiled up at him and told him that she loved him too. Later that night she had cried herself to sleep.

It wasn't like she had no feelings for him, but she just couldn't love him. She wanted to, she really tried, but he would always be in her heart and she had a feeling that there was no place for Dean in it.

She never told anyone about it, not even her mom or her best friends Lane and Paris, it was her well-kept secret. Rory stayed with him, faking a happy smile whenever Dean told her he loved her.

He made her happy in someway which was - come to think about it - the ultimate reason she still called him her boyfriend. It was on Dean to make her forget about her painful past, and how her life had fallen apart. It was the times in Deans arms she had trouble to remembering him, the moments where the image of him in her mind just vanished, and she felt at ease, free from the sadness and the anger she felt still after all these years.

So yes, she didn't love her boyfriend of 5 months and their relationship was far from being perfect, but sometimes being everything but perfect wasn't so bad, especially if you still were happy… at least most of the time.

She heard someone knock at the door and unwillingly stood up, she just hoped it wasn't Doyle there to lecture her about how it was irresponsible to be out of the newsroom for 3 days in a row. She took a deep breath before opening the door, only to close the door immediately again.

"Open the door!" a male voice on the other side of the door told her, but she just turned away.

"Go away!" she yelled. Oh how she wished now that it had been Doyle at the door.

"You're acting childish!"

She grunted. "Look who's talking." She rolled her eyes, was he serious?

"Come on, you're making a scene, everyone is looking at me… let me in." She could hear that he almost begged now.

"Considering that you're outside and I'm…well not, I would say you are the one making a scene."

"I have coffee," he then said, a light smile evident in his , she opened the door a bit.

"I knew a Gilmore couldn't turn down a good coffee," he smirked at her, handing her the coffee.

"You don't know anything about me anymore!" she told him angrily, grabbing the coffee out of his moment he took a step forward, she started to smile and before he realized what was happening she threw the drink at him.

"Damn it Rory!!" he screamed, with a painful expression on his face.

"It wasn't that hot anymore…" she shrugged looking at his ruined pants and leather jacket with glared her, taking his jacket off.

"All I want is 5 minutes to explain myself," he told her looking at her. "Please? Just 5 minutes."

She folded her arms across her chest. "Too bad that you are 2 years too late for that!" she screamed at him, trying to fight back the tears. She didn't want him to know the affect he still had on her. She had closed that chapter of her life, and he couldn't just return after 2 years of silence and expect that she, of all people, would greet him with open arms.

"Don't do this," he whispered looking at her, and for the first time she looked back at him, they stared at each other, and it felt like the world around them stopped for a moment. All of the sudden the person in front of her wasn't the guy she hated the most anymore, but the boy - her best friend – that she had fallen in love with.

With his sad eyes still staring at her, she went through her last day with him like she had done so often before. She never found any signs or hints that he would leave her on that cold September night, after bringing her back home after a midnight picnic at the towns' gazebo.

***Flashback***

"Here we are!" he said smirking at her as they reached the porch, still holding hands, he kissed her softly on the lips but the kissed grew more passionate with every second.

When air became a problem, Rory leaned her forehead against his and smiled.

"I should go in now," she said quietly. She looked at him. "Do you want to come in?" she asked hopefully although she knew already the answer.

"You know that I have to get home," he told her.

"Of course I know, but it doesn't mean I have to like it," she explained.

"Which is the reason we have this talk every night!" Her boyfriend smirked at her.

She just nodded and let go of his hand. "Goodnight Yankee!"

He rolled his eyes. "Can you please get rid of this awful nickname?"

"Maybe…"

"But?"

"But you have to get rid of mine!"

"Not going to happen to Muffin!"

"Oh come on!"

He held up his hands. "Hey! You lost the bet."

Rory rolled her eyes again. Okay so maybe she hadn't been able to live without coffee for 24 hours, but Muffin?Really?

"You know I hate that name."

"Yeah, but what kind of bet would that have been if I ended up calling you something you liked?"

"Urgh. I hate you"

He shook his head. "No you love me."

She smiled. "You have no idea!" she whispered.

"I love you too!" he said, kissing her one last time on the lips. "Goodnight Rory."

"Goodnight." she replied, watching at him until he got to his car and drove away.

***Flashback End***

That was the last time she had seen him until he had appeared at the Yale Daily News 5 days ago, greeting her with his typical smile like they were still best friends. Like everything that happened before was just a figment of her imagination.

But the pain she felt that afternoon, and that she was feeling right now, showed her how true everything was.

"I can't," she told him, avoiding his gaze.

"Rory…"

"Go Logan…just go." Slowly he nodded and took a step backwards, the next moment the door was closed.

* * *

Thoughts? Good enough to get updated again? Tell me.


	2. I'm Switzerland!

Thanks everyone for the reviews. I'm glad everyone seems to like it so far.

Also thanks to Slovesemmett!

* * *

"I can't believe that he's back!" she almost screamed into her phone, pacing in her room. "What did he think? That I would take him back, the moment he decides he wants me again? That a single cup of coffee would make me forget that he dumped me…"

"Rory…"

"Oh no wait. I wasn't dumped. To be dumped, the other person at least needs to be there to break-up with you, but no Mister 'Mighty Huntzberger' is too good for that, he just disappears, and lets his sister tell me that not only did he go off to boarding school but he doesn't want to talk to me anymore either. Can you believe it? Of course you can! You were there. I mean his sister! At least he could have been man enough to tell me that himself. I mean I was there for him, every freaking minute. Did he think it was easy for me to go through everything with him? It was hell, there wasn't a night that I didn't cry myself to sleep."

"Rory…"

"Oh right, you know that too. I was there for him when his parents decided they couldn't deal with him anymore. They just bailed on him because they couldn't look at him anymore. What parents would that, huh? I gave up almost everything for him, I did my homework in the middle of the night so my grades wouldn't drop, I slept at most 4 hours a night for several months, but what did I get for that? What was I to him Mom? What was I? Just someone he needed when he felt alone? Was I just no longer needed anymore when everything turned out for the better?"

"You know that's not true," Lorelai tried to explain.

"Are you taking his side?" Alarmed and shocked she sat down on her bed.

"I don't take sides. I'm Switzerland. I'm so far away from taking sites. But if you would take just one breath and maybe give me the chance to finish one sentence?"

Rory sighed and nodded, even though her mom couldn't see it. "Go ahead."

"You know that I'm not Logan's biggest fan after everything that happened…"

Rory grunted. "After everything I did for him…"

"Rory!"

"Sorry. Taking a breath now."

"But never doubt that he loved you Kid. Whatever made him do what he did, it definitely wasn't because he didn't love you anymore."

"I know…" Rory whispered although she hated to admit that. "I just want to know why, you know?"

"I'm not the person who can give you that answer. Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I say something that you probably won't like?"

She sighed. "Shoot"

"Let him talk to you."

"WHAT?" Lorelai winced and pulled the phone away from her ear a couple inches.

"Let him explain…"

"Never!"

"But…"

"I don't want to see him ever again. "

"But…"

"I won't!" And the way Rory said it, her mother knew that it was a final decision although she didn't agree with it. But also she knew better then to start a fight about it with her stubborn daughter, at least for the moment.

"Okay. But can I ask you one more question?"

"Yeah."

"If you are completely over him…"

"I'm soooo over him."

"Then why do you still care?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you are over him, and as happy with Dean as you want everyone to believe, why is he still getting to you. 'Cause Hon, it sounds like you still care. You have been mess since he returned, you fought with him, you ranted earlier for 5 minutes straight, going on and on about him, without even giving me the chance to say anything." She stopped hoping Rory would say something, but when she didn't she continued.

"You still care." It wasn't a question, Rory sighed loudly.

"How could I not?" she said in a defeated voice, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I loved him Mom."

"I know Hon."

"I wanted to move on, to forget about him, and now he's back and I just feel...I don't know. It's just so hard! I wanted to never to see him again. "

"Maybe with time he will realize that you don't want to talk to him anymore."

"A Huntzberger is not a person that gives-up easily. It's not in the genes"

"If it's too much for you, you can always spend some time at home, you know."

"I might do that if it all gets too much. Thanks Mom"

"Hey, it's still your home and you're always welcome." Rory smiled.

"My next class starts in a few minutes, thanks for letting me rant."

"Anytime Ror. Bye."

"Bye."

After Lorelai hung-up, she put her phone back into her bag and entered the Diner she had been standing in front of.

"Coffee, Coffee, Coffee!!" she demanded, looking for one second at her boyfriend before she sat down at an empty table.

She sighed, rubbing her temples; she could tell she was about to get a headache.

"Here." Luke said, giving her a cup of coffee.

She raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? You're giving me a coffee without complaining? Without a minute long speech how it will be my death?"

"You don't look so good," he admitted, sitting down next to her.

Taking a sip she rolled her eyes. "That's exactly what every woman wants to hear."

Now it was Luke's turn to roll his eyes. "You looked worried when you came in. I have no idea who you were just talking, to but I have feeling that it wasn't pleasant."

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed. "It was Rory."

"Everything okay with her?" Luke asked, getting worried himself.

"Not really." Hesitating she took another long sip, avoiding his gaze although she could feel his eyes on her.

She took a deep breath. "He's back!" she said, almost in a whisper.

"Who?" Luke asked, but the moment the words left his mouth he realized he already knew. "Really?" he said surprised.

"Out of nowhere. Rory is devastated!"

"I can imagine."

"She has no idea how she should deal with it. She is torn between the anger she has for him right now and the love for him she has...had."

"Has?" Luke asked surprised.

"She might not want to admit, it but we both know that she never stopped loving Logan Huntzberger."

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess they never were the typical first love couple."

"True."

"So, what is Rory going to do about it?"

Lorelai shrugged, helplessly. "Logan wanted to talk to her, but it ended in a bad fight. I don't think she gave him the chance to say anything. I think it would be better to hear his side of the story, but she doesn't want to listen. Stubborn kid."

Luke smiled. "Well she is your daughter!"

"Luke Danes made a joke. Funny. Really funny."

They were silent for a moment, taking in the repercussions of the return of Logan and the problems they would likely have to face in the near future.

In the meantime, Logan entered his apartment after his encounter with Rory.

"Where were you mate?" Finn asked, while focusing on the video game he was playing with Colin.

"I wanted to talk to someone," he replied.

"A girl?" Finn asked, trying to catch Colin's player.

"Rory."

Immediately the boys let their controllers fall, instantly losing interest in the game they were playing. They looked at their friend.

"The Rory?" Colin asked with a grin.

Logan rolled his eyes but nodded, Colin and Finn looked at each other.

Although they had never seen the one and only Rory Gilmore they did know her in some ways. Not only had Logan kept a picture of the girl in his wallet for the entire time they had known him, he used to talk about her a lot. Additionally, she had been the reason they had transferred from Harvard to Yale. Well, it had been Logan's reason but Colin and Finn had just tagged along, they were always open for a new adventure. They got bored of the same place very easily.

"Looks like she didn't welcome you with open arms," Colin said smirking, eyeing Logan's ruined pants.

"Of course not!" Logan sat down next to his friend closing his eyes. "She hates me," he stated.

"You are surprised by that?" Colin frowned.

He opened his eyes again and looked at him. "No. I'm not that stupid. I left, without telling her where I was going, why I was going, or even that I was going, I didn't call or write for 2 years. Of course she hates me."

"Then why are you looking like someone killed your puppy?" Finn asked.

Logan growled. "I'm not sure what I expected, but based on the look in her eyes, I'm not sure if I can fix this anymore."

Colin raised an eyebrow. "You are a fighter Huntz!" Finn nodded eagerly in agreement.

Logan didn't reply, he stood-up and walked to his room.

"So..." Finn started looking at Colin, a slight smile on his lips. "Should we meddle?" he asked.

"He hates when we meddle," Colin stated.

"That's besides the point. I love to meddle!"

"Yeah, but most of the time when we meddle everything turns out more messed up then before."

"But this time, I have a plan!" Finn grinned, which made Colin roll his eyes.

"We're doomed!" He sighed and looked toward the now closed door to Logan's room and then turned back to Finn again. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret it, but let's hear your plan."

Happy that for once, one of his infamous plans could be set into motion, Finn started to explain his idea. Colin had to admit it was crazy, but maybe it was exactly the kind of crazy they needed.


	3. Over my head

**So here is the new chapter, took me a bit longer than expected. Blame my latest video project obsession and a mistake in that chapter that I couldn't fix that easily.**

**Thanks to my beta and enjoy!**

* * *

Relieved, Rory left the newsroom ready to go home. It had been the first day in a week that she had been up to paying the newsroom a visit. Right now she wished she had stayed at her dorm instead.

Doyle had given her a lecture lasting almost 20 minutes about how he was disappointed in her and that he always thought that she was one of the good ones, one of the few people he could count on. She had just nodded a few times; always agreeing with him because she knew there was no point to arguing with Doyle, especially when he was right. He had said that he would give her the assignments no one else wanted for the next couple of weeks, because in his opinion only the writers coming every day should get the good stories, but after he went on and on about how irresponsible she was, and how Doyle lost his trust in her, he admitted that there weren't very many good writers on the YDN staff right now. At least not writers he got the feeling could write an interesting story from a really interesting event. So even after the lecture, she left the newsroom assigned to one of the bigger stories for the week.

Still deep in thought she wasn't paying attention to where she walked, and a second later she bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry," she muttered looking at the guy she bumped into.

"No blood. No foul," the guy replied, smirking at her.

Rory nodded and started to walk away, but the guy grabbed lightly her arm.

"I'm Finn." he introduced himself. "That's Colin," he continued, inclining his head toward the guy next to him.

"Hey," she said shortly, looking a bit irritated.

"And you are?"

"Oh, I'm Rory."

"Nice to meet you Rory."

"Rory Gilmore?" Colin asked, speaking up for the first time.

"That's me," she nodded.

"Awesome!" both guys said at the same time.

"I actually don't understand…."

"Oh of course…sorry," Finn started. "Your are the granddaughter of Emily and Richard Gilmore, aren't you?"

"Uhm…yeah," she said hesitantly.

"Then you are the right one." Finn grinned, and Colin rolled his eyes.

"You scaring her of Finn." Finn just shrugged.

"What this guy was trying to say is that we are new here and our families are friends with Richard and Emily, and it seems like they had tea last Saturday. Anyway, when they heard that Finn and I just transferred to Yale Emily suggested that you could help us a bit by showing us around. She said she was going to call you."

Rory's frown disappeared and smiled. Colin and Finn didn't really seem like the usual children of her grandparents friends.

"She didn't call."

"Oh, she must have forgotten then," Colin replied looking like he was deep in thought, elbowing Finn when Rory wasn't paying attention. Could he be more obvious with all the grinning?

"No problem. It's okay. But I actually have no idea what I should show you, or how to help you for that matter. Excuse if I'm wrong, but you don't look like guys who like to sniff a book every once in awhile if you know what I mean"

"Honestly I don't know what your are talking about" Colin replied.

"Why don't we start a little bit low key?" Finn asked.

"Low key?"

"How about lunch? Or some coffee? You know, to get to know each other better. You don't have to...I mean maybe you have a class or something right now? Maybe another…."

"Finn stop!" Rory laughed. "You already had me at coffee."

"Huh?"

"Coffee addict!" she explained, making it sound like she had admitted that she had committed a crime.

"Well then my lady, lead the way," Finn said while Colin nodded.

"Let's go," Rory agreed and she started to lead the way. Following her Finn winked at his friend, both with a satisfied smile on their lips. The first step was made.

*************

"Kirk for the last time, I'm not selling ice cream here!" Luke yelled, an angry expression on his face. He had told Kirk he didn't sell ice cream at least 6 times now, and if he didn't know better he would think that he was deaf.

"But…"

"No buts!"

"But…"

"Kirk, Taylor has his ice cream parlor right next to the Diner."

"But I like yours better"

Luke took a deep breath. Sometimes he really hated this town. "You can't like mine better because I don't sell ice cream."

"But when you were gone…."

"The key word there is gone." Oh he so was going to kill Cesar and the 'special summer menu' he had created when Luke had been taking care of his sister Liz and her husband while they recovered from their accident. He would just wait until all the customers had left so there would be no witnesses around. Oh yes, Cesar would pay.

Kirk opened his mouth again to respond but Luke just shook his head.

"I've heard enough! Kirk out!"

"But Luke…"

"Out!"

Scared, Kirk turned around, opened the door and started to run as fast as he could.

Luke shook his head again. Did Kirk really think he would chase him through the whole town?

He was setting up a new pot of coffee when the phone started to ring.

"Luke's Diner," he said as he answered the call, the anger from Kirk still in his voice.

"Bad time?" the guy on the other end of the line asked.

"Just dealing with the craziness, that is this town."

The other guy laughed. "Oh yeah I know."

"Is there a reason you called?" Luke asked. He didn't even bother to hide his annoyance towards the caller.

"Have you a minute?"

"I'm busy, it's lunch time."

"Just 5 minutes ?"

Luke sighed. "Can I call you back in a minute? Five minutes on the phone with you here in the diner, and everyone will know about a mysterious phone call I had."

The guy laughed again. "Thanks."

Without another word Luke hung-up on him.

"Cesar!" he yelled in the direction of the kitchen. "You're in charge."

With that he ran up the stairs up to his apartment. Hesitating, he sat down at his desk. He opened a drawer which contained a small notepad, a present from the same man that had just called him. He took his phone, slowly dialing the numbers from the first page of said notepad and let it ring.

***************

"Eww, I feel nauseous!" Finn sighed, letting his head fall down on the table in the cafeteria, where he had sat down with Colin and Rory just a few moments ago.

"Is everything okay?" Rory asked a bit confused. The guy had seemed okay before.

Colin chuckled, patting his friends' back.

"He's sober!" he explained, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Am I supposed to understand that?"

"No," Colin smirked. "This one is an odd one." He looked at Finn, "You know, most people when they have a little bit too much to drink get a hangover the next morning. With Finn it's exactly the other way around. He needs alcohol in his system to function."

"O…Okay" What had she gotten herself into? Or better, what had her grandmother gotten her into?

"An exotic creature like me just needs his booze," Finn replied, finally looking up again. He took a deep breath, shook his head a few times and nodded.

"I'm good for another 20 minutes." He grinned at Rory. "Next time we need to make sure to pay the pub a visit, for lunch or whatever we want to do!"

"Sure," she replied slowly. Next time?

They were quiet for a short time, Rory had no idea what to say to the strange guys in front of her, and Colin and Finn waited for Rory to speak up. Because, although phase one in their plan had worked pretty well - getting in contact with Rory - they weren't really sure about phase two, so they just hoped Rory would give them something to work with.

"So…what can I help you guys with?" Rory asked finally, looking at both of them.

"Well…" Colin started hesitantly. "We thought about joining the Yale Daily News." Finn nodded to show his agreement.

"I'm working there!" she responded happily.

"What a coincidence." Finn grinned, but got elbowed just seconds later from Colin.

"We really looked forward to work there. But when we talked to the editor, what was his name again?" Colin asked, looking at Finn who was still rubbing the spot on his arm Colin had hit earlier. Neither of them had ever spoken to the editor before, nor had they set a foot into the newsroom. To be honest, Finn had flirted with a girl from the newspaper to get some information about the editor and the paper, so Colin really hoped Rory would jump at the opportunity.

"Doyle?" she supplied and Colin smiled, relieved.

"Doyle. Right. You have to excuse us, there are so many people here at the moment and I was never good with remembering names."

"No problem."

"So we talked to him," Colin continued. "But he said there was not an open spot anymore. At least in theory"

"In theory?" she questioned him looking confused.

"Yeah, they had to give the spot to a guy who even isn't interested in working there. And according to that editor of yours that guy isn't even attending meetings or working there."

Rory nodded. Interesting, she thought, that would explain why that there was one empty desk in the newsroom. She and Paris had talked about it, but just thought that there just weren't that many people interested in working there. Never had Rory thought that the desk belonged to someone who just didn't bother to come in. It actually made her mad that these two guys who really wanted to work there couldn't, just because some snobby arrogant guy, who didn't deserve the spot in the first place and thought he had better things to do than to write something for the paper, was given the spot.

"Maybe I can help you," Rory said, more to herself then to guys looking at her. None of the writers were really friends with Doyle, but she at least thought she had a pretty decent editor/writer relationship with him. She could talk to him. Yeah maybe she really should do that.

"Really?" Finn cried out loud and several people around them started to look at him.

"Sure," she shrugged. "What's the point in someone being on the staff when they don't do anything?"

"Thank you so much Rory!"

"Thank me when I actually help you." Colin nodded.

"Do you know the guy's name? I'm not sure how open Doyle will be if I call him the 'no-show guy.'" She chuckled.

"Uhm…" Finn murmured, looking like he was deep in thought. "Morgan?" He looked at his friend.

"No I don't think it was Morgan…wait Logan?"

"Logan?" Rory interrupted the boys' conversation. "Logan Huntzberger?" Rory shook her head; it even hurt to say his name out loud.

"Yeah that's him!" Colin nodded eagerly and Finn responded innocently. "Oh. Do you know him?"

***************

"Hey Luke" the guy on the other line responded after the second ring, happy that he had called back so quickly.

"What do you want?" grunted Luke.

"I'm good too. Thanks for asking. How are you?" the other guy said snidely.

"You want to joke now? Then I really don't see any reason why I should talk to you."

"Wait. Luke. I'm sorry okay. I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now okay. It's a bit too much."

"What do you want?" the Diner owner asked for a second time.

"Your help," he said simply.

"Are you out of mind?" Luke shouted. "You want help from me?"

"I'm desperate," he said defending his actions.

"It's your own fault."

"I never said otherwise."

"I can't help you. Nor do I want to."

"Lucas…" Luke sighed; the boy on the other line had always been the only person allowed to call him by his full time, other than his own father.

"Do you have any idea what will happen if someone finds out I've had contact with you for all these years? It's not going to be pretty. And now you think I should help you? You know I would like to live a few more years."

"They don't have to know."

"There are no secrets in Stars Hollow."

"I know one." Luke rolled his eyes, and had no problem seeing that smirk that was definitely plastered on the guys face right now.

"Okay, there is one," he admitted.

"See it can work."

"I don't want you to hurt them…again. I love them."

The man on the other end of the line was silent for a few minutes.

"You know that I love her. Just listen to me, and if you still don't want to help me then that's okay."

Luke grunted but gave in eventually. "Just listening?"

"That's all I'm asking."

"Okay."

"Thank you."


	4. Used to

**There weren't that many reviews lately, so I hope you will like the next chapters because those will finally show you how Rory and Logan met.**

**Thanks to my beta!**

* * *

After the humorously refreshing encounter with Finn and Colin, and two more classes, Rory had gone back to her dorm and ordered pizza for herself and Paris, who was supposed to be coming home soon.

Right after the lunch with the guys she had intended to go directly to Doyle, but instead she had decided she would postpone it for a few more days, because she wasn't sure if she was really in the best state to argue with the editor, especially if it was about Logan.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, thinking it was Ben from the delivery service she grabbed her wallet and walked to the door, but upon opening the door she found that no one was there. Irritated she looked down the hallway in both directions, but the entire hallway was empty.

But the moment she decided to close the door again, her gaze fell on a ball lying on the floor. Immediately her heart started to beat faster and she took a deep breath before she reached down to take the ball.

It wasn't the ball itself that shocked her so much that she needed to hold onto the doorframe to keep herself from falling, but the memory that came with it and the one word written on the ball.

'Knockout'

***Flashback***

"So, why are we doing this exactly?" A tired looking Rory asked, while she walked with her mother through the quiet streets of Stars Hollow on a cold April morning.

"I thought we could do something productive for once," Lorelai said with a shrug.

"But it's Saturday. The day you're supposed to sleep in."

"That's Sunday, Hon."

"But it's freaking 9 o'clock in the morning!" Rory exclaimed as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, clearly annoyed by her mother.

"Oh come on!" she nudged her daughter smiling. "Don't be party pooper."

"We don't even like sports!" shouted Rory desperately.

"Nothing wrong with trying something new." Lorelai looked at the 16year old next to her. "Aren't you at least a little bit curious to see Luke?" An evil smile played on Lorelai's lips and for the first time that morning Rory had to laugh at her mother's antics.

"I guess it would be nice to get some new mocking material for the next time he decides to withhold our coffee."

Grinning, Lorelai put her arm around Rory's shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "That's my daughter," she said proudly.

Luke becoming the new coach of the Stars Hollow Warriors, the local soccer team, had been the town talk for the last couple of weeks. Of course he had tried to keep it a secret, but that had been a nearly impossible mission in a town like Stars Hollow. From then on everyone had talked about it and no one had even tried to hide the surprise about Luke Danes, the stubborn and usually angry diner owner, who had voluntarily taken the spot as the new coach for the upcoming soccer season.

When people asked him about it he just shrugged and told them that he got asked and he agreed to it. Lorelai had taken it on as a personal mission to find the real reason behind it, but failed miserably. Luke once again, she had to admit, was a man she couldn't quite figure out completely.

"You know that Luke told us to not come to the game, right?" Rory asked a few minutes later when the soccer field came into view.

Lorelai rolled her eyes in response. "He told me five time to stay as far away as possible. Trust me that was him practically begging for us to come."

"Sure," Rory replied sarcastically

Arriving at their destination, they took everything in and were surprised to find that a lot of people seemed really interested in this sport. The players from both teams seemed to be already on the field, warming up for the start of the game, fans were yelling and cheering for their team, even Taylor – who was wearing a cap and scarf in the colors of the team - was still standing at the field giving the players instructions like he was their coach.

The Gilmore Girls winked at some familiar face like Miss Patty and Andrew as they sat down on the bleachers.

Just in the same moment Luke walked on to the field realizing what Taylor was doing and animatedly started to argue with him, waving his arms in the air wildly.

The girls laughed. "Some things never changed," Lorelai said, still laughing, wiping a tear from her eyes. Rory nodded in agreement. Maybe it hadn't been such a bad thing after all that her mother had woken her up at this ungodly hour.

"Hey who's the man in black," Lorelai asked then later, noticing that yet again another man had walked on to the field.

"That's the referee, Mom," Rory replied, rolling her eyes. She might not know much about soccer but that at least she knew that.

"Oh, okay."

"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome" then all of the sudden it became much too loud over the speakers, soon they could see Kirk in his own 'private' corner holding his microphone. "… to the first game of this season. The Litchfield Gladiators versus our own Stars Hollow Galaxy." People applauded, excited for the game to begin.

"What happened to Warriors?" Lorelai asked, frowning.

Rory just shrugged. When she had been at the Stars Hollow High their mascot had still been the Warriors, and she was sure that she even read in the Gazette yesterday about the SH Warriors.

"Taylor re-named them right before the game started," explained Miss Patty, who was sitting just one row behind them.

"Why?"

"He thought that a name like Warriors would depict the town in the wrong light."

"What?" Lorelai looked at her daughter. "Typical Taylor!"

"He thinks the team being the Warriors would lead other towns to the opinion that Stars Hollow could be - and here I'm quoting - 'A gangster town.'"

"No way!" They both shook their heads but returned their attention to the game, it wasn't like they were really surprised by Taylor's actions.

From then on Rory and Lorelai tried to keep track of the things happening on the field, but neither of them found it that interesting. One player would kick the ball to a member to his team, who would try to kick the ball somewhere else, and if that didn't happen a player on the opposing team would 'steal' the ball - and big surprise here – and kick it to a member of his team. 20 minutes in the game, something different finally happened because the ball wasn't kicked to another player but in the direction of the goal. People started to yell and celebrate but before Rory and Lorelai realized that indeed something good had happened and stood-up like the others, the rest of the fans had already gotten on their seats again.

During halftime, Lorelai had yelled at Luke for the first time, to get his attention and when he had recognized her, he had just turned around, acting like he didn't see at her at all. Lorelai had pouted for several minutes, until the players came back on the field.

One certain guy looked up like he was trying to find a specific person, and waved happily when he finally found the person he was looking for.

"You have an secret admirer?" Lorelai joked as Rory waved back at the boy.

"That's Dean. You know Dean!" She rolled her eyes at her mom.

Dean had moved from Chicago to Stars Hollow right before she started at Chilton. They had met when she was cleaning her locker and had been friends since. Rory had gotten him a job at Taylor's grocery store and so they had started talking. She had showed him around, telling him crazy stories about the town, and giving him the inside scoop on which teachers were good and which should be avoided.

Dean had quickly become a pretty important part of Rory's life. Lorelai had first suspected that there was more than friendship between them, especially after Dean had given Rory a homemade bracelet for her a birthday, but Rory had always denied it and when she realized that this topic really bothered her daughter (because it had seemed like she wasn't the only one seeing more into their friendship) she let it go, but that didn't mean she wouldn't joke a bit about it from time to time.

"You will never let that go, will you?"

"Not if I can't help it."

The game started into the second half, but they were already bored with it. Rory suggested that they just go, but Lorelai thought that it was rude to Luke to just leave. Rory thought that he would actually be happy about it because he hadn't wanted them there in the first place but she knew that she had no chance in changing her mother's mind.

"Goal, Goal!" Lorelai shouted 10 minutes later, when the ball once again found its way into the goal, excited by the action both girls got up from their seats, jumping happily up on down. It took them a few seconds to realize that they were the only people celebrating the goal and that all of their friends looked at them curiously.

"The other team scored a goal," Miss Patty whispered at them and the Girls looked at each other.

"Oops!" exclaimed Lorelai before they both sat down again.

"Taylor is looking at us!" Rory whispered at her mother worriedly.

"And?"

"He looks kinda mad."

She shrugged. "Why should he be?"

"Because we just celebrated a goal against us?"

"Oh...well." she shrugged again, ignoring the angry stare of the old man.

From now on they not only kept an eye on the field but also on the people next to each other, so they would know when to be happy and when to be angry. Lorelai really started to get into it and yelled with all others at the referee when they did, even if she had no idea why. Rory amused watched this new side of her mother, having no interest in the game at all.

"Rory!!" someone screamed all of the sudden, from somewhere above them but before she could see who had called her, or what reason the person had, something hit her pretty hard in the side of her head, and for a moment everything went black.

The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes again was the worried face of her mother.

"Mom?" she asked in a confused voice.

"I helped you up," her mother explained, giving her back her hand so she could stand up and sit down.

"Feeling alright?" a worried tone in her voice still noticeable.

"Uhm…dizzy. I think." With one hand she touched her head. "Owww" she yelled, with a pained expression on her face, "and my head hurts."

Then, for the first time, she noticed everyone staring her, not only her mom, but everyone around them. Even some of the soccer players stood near by, Luke also was right behind her mother.

"What happened?" she asked, still confused.

"That would be my fault," a voice said behind her. She turned her head, unfortunately it was too fast as she soon realized.

"Ugh, head rush," she murmured, but then looked up to see which guy the voice belonged to.

The guy, still in his soccer jersey, looked sheepishly at her.

"Hey," she said.

"I'm really sorry," he told her. "People told me I had a pretty hard shot, but you're the first person I've ever really knocked-out." He tried to smile at her, but she could see, that whatever had happened, he really felt guilty and apologetic.

"I aimed for another shot, but someone from the other team kicked the ball in between and the ball changed direction," he continued to explain, holding a ball into his hands. "Well, and then the ball hit you in the head."

"Oh," she whispered. That at least would explain why her head hurt so badly.

"I am really sorry," he told her once again.

"It's okay. It was an accident." She shrugged, why should she be mad at him, it wasn't like he had aimed his shot at her.

"Really?"

"Really."

The guy stayed for some time while the rest of his teammates disappeared to get the 'accident' occurred one minute before the game was supposed to end, the referee had decided to not re-start it again and to let it end in a 1:1 tie.

Long after the mysterious guy left the townspeople still stayed with her, asking her how she felt and if she was sure that she didn't need to see a doctor. But Rory felt better with every passing minute and although the pain did not completely disappear, the dizziness did, so she felt up to walking home with her mother.

"Are you really okay?" her Mom asked when they left the rest of the crowd behind.

"Oh not you too," Rory replied annoyed.

"The ball did hit you pretty hard."

"I don't feel dizzy anymore. I can walk without problems, and I didn't throw up. I definitely don't have a concussion. I'll take some painkillers for my head when we get home and that's it. Stop worrying."

"That's what mothers do. It's in the job description," Lorelai explained justifying her actions.

They walked a few more steps in silence.

"So..." her mother started.

"So?"

She grinned. "Pretty exciting, huh?"

"If you think so."

"Should we go back again next week?"

"No!"

Lorelai accepted that, and they quietly walked home.

***Flashback End***

"Is that a soccer ball?" Paris asked her friend, closing the door behind her. Rory didn't look up, still holding the ball close to her chest.

"Rory?" No answer again. "Oh no..." she gasped then, realizing the significance behind it, she slowly walked over to the couch, and sat down beside to her friend.

"It's him," Paris whispered then, putting her arms around Rory. All of the sudden it all made sense. Rory's weird mood, the bags under her eyes like she hadn't slept well in days, why she had avoided leaving her room, and why she hadn't been able to talk to her. Why didn't she see that sooner?

"I was wrong," Rory whispered then, interrupting Paris's train of thought.

"About what?"

"It wasn't the last time,"

"The last time for what?"

"The last time I went to a game." Helplessly she stared at her friend, while Paris put her arm around her to comfort her.

* * *

**So I hope you liked this, because it was really hard to write it in the POV'S from Rory and Lorelai who had no interest in soccer at all. Soccer was and still is a huge part of my life so that was definitely a challenge.**


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